CRIME BLOTTER

The Favorite Columbia South Carolina Newspaper of my brother Ben is The Snitch. It’s a newspaper dedicated to crime and it features editorials written by real criminals that are in Jail. I understand its appeal, and in honor of that I will start a crime blotter here on Its Okay To Play as well.

I will start with the Crime that I saw this morning on my way to the BART. I was trying to get my late ass into work. There is this one block on my way to the BART, which makes, even me who has lived in some pretty scary neighborhoods, pretty nervous. I have this theory that there is a crack house or something on that block, cause there is large amount of people who congregate there who are clearly on something and have been for some time. But its only one block and it beats taking the bus and normally they don’t bother me. Also on the block I affectionately call the "cracked out central" Are a bunch of small business, which I am sure were there before the drugs. Places like little greasy spoons, small grocery stores that don lots of Fresh Fruit, 2 Hip Hop clothing stores, a dollar store, and a Butcher.

So getting back to my story, I am walking (briskly) down this block not making eye contact with the junkies as I am sure that they will make conversation with me and ask me for cash. All of a sudden, this Asian Guy comes out of the Butcher Shop and he is screaming. Apparently, someone had broken into the butcher, and get this, had stolen all the meat that was in the refrigerated display cases.

I am going to tell you something, this butcher is pretty big. I mean its not some tiny place. I looked inside the butcher and there are a lot of refrigerated display cases that were empty. That’s a lot of meat. This was a huge crime and I am sure this guy has lost a serious amount of money in inventory. I felt bad for him. I mean the way you feel bad for any urban small business that takes a hit like that.

When I got on my train, I began to think about the crime. Who the hell would steal a bunch of meat? I mean It's not like you can pawn it or get rid of it easily at all. I have lived in cities for over 10 years; I am aware that people boost a bunch of crap and then sell it on the street. On many occasions it’s for drugs but in some cases, this is how they make a living. But normally the stuff that is boosted is not as perishable as meat. On many occasions, I remember being in places like Bens Chili Bowl in DC (god I miss Bens) before that area was all gentrified, the way it is now, often I would often see dudes in there going from booth to booth trying to sell a bunch of Gap sweaters, that were clearly shoplifted. It is one of those things you see in a city. But what if instead of those Gap Sweaters, they were selling pork chops? I mean that would be pretty odd and honestly I would feel a bit nauseated as I am eating my chili dog and sharing my chili cheese fries with Michael Hamilton and drinking that oh so yummy and overly sweet grape Kool-Aid If someone were to come up to me with a handful of Raw Meat and tried to sell it to me. I mean it’s just not very sanitary.

Also what would possess you to buy meat that is not in a refrigerator? I mean I am by no means a freak about food like many people in this country, I don’t believe that everything needs to be refrigerated within an inch of its life to be edible. But honestly, meat does need to be refrigerated, or you at least need to see that it’s being kept on Ice as you are buying it. I honestly have had food poisoning from bad meat and I don’t wish to risk repeating it.

So imagine the perpetrators of this crime are in some dingy hotel room some where with piles of rotting meat on the floor. I am sure they are thinking that they have committed the heist of the century and once they get all this meat off of their hands, then they will be millionaires. It seems to be a bit misguided. I hope they at least had coolers when they stole it all, and its not sitting in some garbage bag somewhere.

Any way, I hope the owner has insurance, and I hope who ever did this realized how stupid it is to steal raw meat. Ill is keeping a vigilant eye out on the streets of the Mission for folks selling Raw Pork Chops real cheap.